The Shitpost Pack
The Shitpost Pack is a collection of random non-serious variants of a variety of things in Project 5.5, including Ancestries, Heritages, Magic Items, and more.
Lupin Heritage: Butta Dog
The Butta Dog are Lupin who have dedicated themselves to the honorable butter hat, which is a 1/2 inch wide x 1 inch long rectangular piece of butter. By adourning the butta, the Lupin gains its honorable magic, but otherwise its appearance is the same as any other Lupin.
Butta On' Em. You have advantage on saving throws against and breaking out of a Grapple.
Butta Magic. Starting at 3rd level, you can cast the Suggestion spell as a 2nd level spell, requiring no material components. When you do so, the command must be to say "butter dog, dog with the butter on them" as many times as it can before the spell ends. You must finish a short or long rest to cast this spell again with this trait. Charisma is your spellcasting ability for it.
Cool Shit
Ancestry: The Immortal Snail
Fear- this is what the Immortal Snail represents. The silent killer, always pursuing the one creature they are bound by the laws of the universe to slay. They possess the power of instant death, immortality, and supernatural intelligence, but with the downside of being small and slow. But the immortal snail is patient, and always finds its target. Once it does, the Snail returns to normality, leaving all unaware of its once supernatural power.
The Immortal Snail appears to be a small, innocuous snail. However, its touch is deadly, especially so for the one it is meant to kill. Its lethality is solely due to supernatural powers.
Immortal Snail Traits
Ability Score Increase. One ability score of your choice increases by 2, and another by 1, to a maximum of 20.
Age. The immortal snail lives eternal.
Alignment. The immortal snail have an unbreakable sense of duty and responsibility, tending towards Lawful alignments.
Creature Type. You are a beast.
Size. The immortal snail is between 1 to 2 feet tall. Your size is Tiny. The reduce effect of Enlarge/Reduce and similar effects that reduce your size category have no effect on you.
Speed. Your base walking speed is 20ft. You also have a climbing speed equal to your walking speed.
Superior Darkvision. Yu have superior vision in dark and dim conditions. You can see in dim light within 120 feet of you as if it were bright light, and in darkness as if it were dim light. You can't discern color in darkness, only shades of gray.
Immortal Nature. Thanks to your supernatural fortitude, you have the following traits:
- You are immune to all damage.
- You don't need to breathe, eat, or sleep, and magic can't put you to sleep. To gain the benefits of a long rest, you must spend 8 hours only performing light activity, rather than sleeping.
Deadly Touch. When you touch a humanoid, roll a d100. If the result is a 1, or if the DM decides, that creature instantly dies. Once this feature succeeds, you can't use it again, and you lose the benefits of your Immortal Nature.
Languages. You can speak, read, and write Common and two other languages of your choice.
THE SNAIL
Tiny Beast, Unaligned
- Armor Class 14
- Hit Points 1
- Speed 20ft, 20ft climb
STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA 16 (+3) 10 (+0) 26 (+8) 26 (+8) 26 (+8) 4 (-3)
- Saving Throws Wisdom +14
- Skills Perception +10
- Damage Immunities All
- Condition Immunities Exhaustion, Petrified
- Senses Darkvision 120ft, passive 20
- Languages Understands all, cannot speak
- Prof. Bonus +2
Deadly Touch. The snail always knows the location of one particular humanoid. If the snail touches that creature, both it and the snail instantly die.
Immortal Nature. The snail doesn't need to breathe, eat, or sleep, and magic can't put it to sleep.
Pot of Greed Item
Wondrous Item, Uncommon, 3 lbs
This pot contains a seemingly infinite amount of gold coins when looked into. The coins are stuck together, and don't fall out if the pot is turned over. A creature can spend 1 minute fishing out a single coin. Each time a creature pulls out a coin, the coin becomes a copper coin. If the pot is broken, all coins inside it vanish.
Wii Remote of Electronic Destruction Weapon
Wondrous Weapon (flail), Uncommon, 0.5 lbs
This flail counts as a +1 weapon. It has the two-handed and light properties.
Electronic Destruction. You deal double damage with this flail upon hitting a Construct or a piece of magical technology.
Nunchuck. As a bonus action, you can make an attack with the Wii Remote's nunchuck. If you hit with this attack, you deal 1d4 Bludgeoning damage.
The One Piece Item
This treasure gives its bearer unimaginable power.
Wondrous Item, Legendary, 1 lb
Mystery Effect. As an action, you can cause one effect of the DM's choice.
The Master Ring Ring
One ring to rule them all.
Wondrous Ring, Artifact, 0.01 lbs (requires attunement).
Dormant
When the Master Ring is in its Dormant state, it has the following traits:
Invisibility. While wearing this ring, you can turn Invisible as an action. Anything you are wearing or carrying is Invisible with you. You remain Invisible until the ring is removed, until you attack or cast a spell, or until you use a bonus action to become visible again.
Far Sight. You can use this item to cast the Sending spell. Intelligence is your spellcasting ability for it.
Intelligence. The Master Ring is a sentient lawful evil ring with an Intelligence of 18, a Wisdom of 18, and a Charisma of 18. It has hearing and darkvision out to a range of 60 feet.
The weapon can speak, read, and understand Common and Abyssal, and can communicate with its wielder and all creatures within 15 feet telepathically. Its voice is deep and echoing. While you are attuned to it, the Master Ring also understands every language you know.
The Ring's only goal is to return to its master, a powerful Demilich, and will attempt to convince and compel creatures to return it.
Awakened
When the Master Ring is in its Awakened state, it gains the following traits:
- You gain a +2 bonus to attack and damage rolls.
- You gain proficiency in all tools.
Perfected
When Master Ring is in its Perfected state, it gains the following traits:
You have a +4 bonus to attack and damage rolls.
Compel Ringbearer. As an action, you can attempt to control a creature you can see that is wearing a magical ring. The target must succeed a DC 18 Wisdom saving throw or be Charmed by you. Elves and Halflings have advantage on this save. The Charm only ends when you or your allies attack the creature, or if the creature's ring is removed.
Once a creature succeeds its save against this ability, it is immune until it completes a long rest.