“What’s a bad miracle?” (v1.0)

by rianofski

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What’s a bad miracle?

In most respects, the creature known as the colossal cloudstalker (Occulonimbus edoequus) defies all known laws of the natural world: the effortless grace with which its gargantuan bulk glides through the sky above; the tremendous force by which it sucks up its prey from the ground below; and the uncanny precision with which it camouflages itself among the clouds, to name a few.

Yet there is one vital aspect in which the cloudstalker can be understood for the beast that it ultimately is: its behavior, particularly in relation to other animals. The cloudstalker is primarily an ambush predator, and in most instances will rely on the cover of night, or the cover of favorably cloudy weather, to get the drop on its chosen prey.

To a human observer, this may seem an eerily silent approach — except perhaps for the popping sounds it has been known to produce, their purpose yet to be determined — but other creatures, man or beast, with heightened senses might be able to detect its presence by the electrical forces it uses to propel itself through the air. Even without such senses, the cloudstalker’s approach is also signaled by the complete failure of electronic devices within a certain radius of its location, and those in possession of such objects would be advised to closely monitor their operation when traveling through known cloudstalker territory.

Cloudstalkers are also known for their territoriality, such that scientific inquiry concerning interaction between members of their own species remains speculative at best; once it has established itself in a given area (and these areas can be truly vast, considering the creature’s massive size) the cloudstalker is not like to abandon that territory without significant resistance. Making matters worse is the cloudstalker’s quickness to aggression, as it perceives any amount of prolonged eye contact to be a threat, despite under most circumstances keeping its own eye hidden from view.

In most cases, the cloudstalker’s first response to a perceived threat is simply to consume that threat; that is, it will inhale the threatening creature or object into one of its digestive cavities and attempt to digest it. In cases where the cloudstalker has been sufficiently intimidated or injured, however, it has been known to respond differently, by changing its form into a massive threat display.

As part of this metamophosis, it exposes its primary ocular organ, a vivid square appendage, from which it unfurls ribbons of shimmering green material in a pulsating pattern. The exact purpose of this motion is still unknown, but this particular display has been observed to have a hypnotic effect upon creatures which directly observe it. In this state, the cloudstalker waits for the first sign of weakness it can spot, whether the threat turns to flee or has been hypnotized into submission, before it strikes with fearsome alacrity.

Despite its undeniable position as an apex predator in virtually any environment in which it chooses to make its territory, the colossal cloudstalker is remarkably fragile in its physiology. Its sheet-like flesh can repel most superficial attacks with ease, but once that flesh has been pierced, it cannot easily recover. The cloudstalker is particularly susceptible to internal injury, although clever adventurers would be wise to determine whether they can survive the crushing forces and potently acidic juices of its digestive folds before allowing themselves to be consumed as a combat ploy.

 

Inspired by “Nope”, dir. Jordan Peele

Additional inspiration taken from speculative anatomical studies by u/StrangeVehicles and u/Liminal_Fish, posted to r/NopeMovie, and scientific description by Kelsi Rutledge. Thanks!



Colossal Cloudstalker

Gargantuan beast, unaligned


  • Armor Class 18 (natural armor)
  • Hit Points 340 (30d20 + 25)
  • Speed fly 60 ft.

STR DEX CON INT WIS CHA
20 (+5) 26 (+8) 9 (-1) 2 (-4) 10 (+0) 12 (+1)

  • Saving Throws Strength +10, Dexterity +13
  • Skills Stealth +13, Intimidation +11
  • Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from non-magical sources
  • Damage Immunities lightning
  • Condition Immunities grappled, prone, restrained
  • Senses darkvision 60 ft., passive perception 10
  • Languages none
  • Challenge 16 (15,000 XP)

Cloud Cover. True to its name, the cloudstalker is capable of disguising itself among the clouds. At night, or in foggy weather, the cloudstalker may Disengage or Hide as a bonus action. Any checks made to detect the cloudstalker's location under these conditions, and also during cloudy weather, are made with disadvantage.

Latent Electromagnetism. The cloudstalker constantly emits a field which dampens the function of all electronic devices within a 340 ft. radius, and causes such devices to completely cease functioning within a 120 ft. radius.

Threat Display. When reduced to half its total hit points, the cloudstalker will change its tactics and attempt to frighten away whatever is causing it harm. Its form radically changes, unfurling from its typical disc-like shape into a flowering mass of tendrils and ballooning flesh. While in this state, the cloudstalker is capable of activating its Hypnotic Presence and may use extensions of its flesh to grapple and bludgeon.


Actions

Voracious Predator. The colossal cloudstalker deals with threats to its territory in much the same way as it deals with anything else: by eating them. The cloudstalker may expend its action to Inhale, after which it will use a bonus action to Digest. If its digestive tract is already full, it may instead use its action to Expel, after which it must wait until its next turn to Inhale again.

Inhale. All creatures of medium size or smaller within a 30 ft. radius directly below the cloudstalker must make a DC 16 Dexterity saving throw. On a failed save, the creature is immediately sucked up through the air and into the cloudstalker's digestive tract, along with any loose objects in the area of medium size or smaller.

Creatures inhaled in this manner are considered grappled, and must make a successful DC 18 Strength check in order to move or act within the digestive tract. If an affected creature is composed mostly of inorganic materials, e.g. a construct, they may choose to make this check with advantage.

Digest. All creatures confined within the cloudstalker's digestive tract must make a DC 14 Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, the creature sustains 20 (4d8 + 2) acid damage plus an additional 4 (1d8) persistent acid damage for one minute. On a successful save, the creature sustains half as much acid damage and no persistent damage.

If a creature is killed outright by this feature (i.e. takes damage equal to or greater than twice its maximum HP value), it becomes liquefied, and all objects composed of inorganic materials that were on its person remain inside the digestive tract. All creatures composed mostly of inorganic materials, e.g. constructs, are indigestible by the cloudstalker and therefore unaffected by this feature.

Expel. The cloudstalker constricts its digestive tract to rid itself of any indigestible objects. All creatures confined within the digestive tract must make a DC 16 Strength saving throw. On a failed save, the creature sustains 44 (6d12 + 5) bludgeoning damage; on a successful save, the creature sustains half as much damage.

Whether its save succeeds or fails, the creature is subsequently ejected from the digestive tract, where it will take an amount of bludgeoning damage in accordance with the distance between the cloudstalker and the ground (1d6 for every 10 ft, up to a maximum of 20d6). A creature with flight may expend half of its flying speed to prevent this fall damage.

Hypnotic Presence. After unfurling into its Threat Display, the cloudstalker exposes a brightly-colored, square-shaped appendage which ripples in captivating patterns. Each creature within 120 ft. of the cloudstalker that can see the appendage must make a DC 18 Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the creature becomes incapacitated and has a speed of 0 for one minute.

A creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself after a success; the effect may also be ended early if the affected creature takes any damage, or if someone else uses an action to shake the creature out of its stupor. If a creature's saving throw is successful or the effect ends for it in any way, the creature is then immune to the cloudstalker's Hypnotic Presence for the next 24 hours.

Bludgeon. Melee weapon attack: +12 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 27 (4d10 + 5) bludgeoning damage, and the target is grappled (escape DC 14). The cloudstalker will only attack in this manner while it is making a Threat Display.

 

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