Bard College of Monster Fucking

"Let's see how special you are..."
~ Lady Dimitrescu, Resident Evil Village

Favored Flirt

When you join the College of Monster Fucking at 3rd level, you can choose one creature type other than humanoid when you finish a short or long rest. You gain the ability to verbally communicate with creatures of that type. They can understand the meaning of your words, though you have no special ability to understand them in return.

You also have advantage on Charisma (Persuasion) and Charisma (Performance) checks when interacting with creatures of that type.

Jokes on you, I'm into that shit!

Also at 3rd level, you've learned to embrace your obsession of getting railed by unholy abominations, and you can grant your disturbing resilience to your allies. When you or a creature you can see within 60 feet of you takes damage from another creature, you can use your reaction to expend one use of your Bardic Inspiration. Roll a Bardic Inspiration die. The chosen creature gains temporary hit points equal to the number rolled plus half the damage it received.

The bigger they are, the bigger I am

At 6th level, your kink for beings that are definitely not your own size grants you the ability to grapple creatures that are Huge or smaller. In addition, when you make a grapple check, you can use your Charisma modifier instead of your Strength or Dexterity modifier.

Woo the Beast

Also at 6th level, you can cast Charm Monster once without expending a spell slot. When you cast this spell, the target cannot have advantage on its saving throw. If it fails, it is willing to watch you perform a courtship display for it while charmed, such as a dance, a love poem, or an invitation to your carriage.

Eldritch Endurance

At 14th level, when a creature targets you with an attack or a harmful effect, you can choose to willingly take the damage or submit to the effect. If you are then reduced to 0 hit points but not killed outright, you can drop to 1 hit point instead.

You can use this feature a number of times equal to your Charisma modifier (a minimum of once). You regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.